Today’s lousy brand of inclement weather here in NYC has most DOFB members longing for something that at least provides a modicum of the things we like best: speed, entertainment and the potential for outlandish deeds. In short – WE WANT SNOW.

With this in mind, I am most pleased to introduce you to the newest, and yet untested member of the DOFB fleet; Traditional Tactical Craft: Bombardierous Hibernous 11c.  Code name: THE RAMMER.

Technical Specification:

Gross weight: 14 lbs

Dimensions: 72″L x 15¾”W.

Load Capacity: 648 lbs

Passenger Capacity: 11

Displacement: 1.375 Metric Ton (Crystalline H2O)

Operating Environment:

• Temperature: Sub 38 Deg F
• Humidity: 20% – 100%
• Altitude: 0 – 11,450 feet

Weapons Array:

• Vector-based Thrust Ram
• Non-lethal Urine Inducing Screech
• Optional Side Mount 80MM Snow Cannons

Fuel: Grog, pride and blatant disregard for the laws of physics

Governing Safety Standards: Camden Snow bowl Rules of Engagement, V7.4

Optional accessories:

• Front mount flask
• GPS beacon
• Anti-glare shield
• Second stage scat-fission thruster cans

For christ’s sake — a little snow already eh?