I’ve been trying to figure out how to relay this tale for a couple of days now. Still not sure I have it nailed, but the story must get out….bare with me as it’s a long and sordid tale.
A small cadre of your friendly neighborhood Dukes lit out this past Saturday for a tranquil day to be spent plying the waters of Peconic Bay on the Sea Senorita. It was a perfect stage….hot, sunny and with ample wind. We had our chippery laid up, plenty of water, a bandoleer of sailing juice and cruised on over to the protected slip where the sloop laid awaiting. It was an auspicious start, the sort of day that gives you a tingle in your stomach, an innate comfort. Like suckling at the teet of life; a knowledge that, yes son, good will ultimately triumph over evil, pie does trounce cake and god-damn-it the natural order of the universe works.
So you can imagine our surprise when we got to the slip and found no sign of the noble craft. No boat. No mast. No nothing.
It was like loosing your breaks at the top of the hill…pump pump pump, but nothing left save shrieking and ruin. Or the sinking doom of a refrigerator burglary most grievous; you’ve just gotten home after working 18 hours straight and, no matter where you look in the fridge, that last damn beer you had so skillfully camouflaged as a condiment is gone. And the flurkin store is long closed. It’s a sinkhole of despair that wrenches open one day just close enough to your split-level SoCal trackhouse to gobble up your garage and menace, day by day closer. Bringing with it the slow, tumbling, hungry certitude that this spring’s vinyl siding, and the new putting green you fought for and which now sits directly between you and the yawning maw, were not, after all, the wisest investments.
Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that horrible, but you get the picture - it sucked.
Now, when it comes to a general perpetration of laid-back grooviness, the Dukes always try to excel. But we can also spring into action like a scalded ferret when the situation requires. And spring we did. We scoured the cove, interviewed neighbors, interrogated gulls and very aggressively scratched our heads. “Would be an odd thing to steal”, we mused, “not worth a whole lot, no sails aboard and such”. And there’s no reason it could have run afoul of the local authorities; twas safely resting in our good chap WB’s slip, which is deeded to his house. And he sits on neighborhood home owner’s association, which can’t hurt.
Nope, we concluded, only one thing is possible: the Sea Senorita fell victim to a dastardly sabotage sortie by rival running club Los Compadres.
We’ve long known the feral deeds they’re capable of, with their speedy ways and their unflagging spirit. I’ve always suspected that news of a DOFB naval acquisition would be met with clear understanding. The Compadres are students of the game and would have to innately grasp the precipitous shift in the NYRR balance of power that only naval superiority could evince.
Yup, they must have paddled her out and scuttled her to protect themselves. Almost can’t blame them really.
So off we trundled to the Shelter Island Police Department to file a report and express our grievances. After some sleuthing we were even more astounded, appalled even, to learn that no, the Sea Senorita had not met with a fiery/wet end. In fact, she currently resided at a town mooring for floating scofflaws. Yup, the sweet ‘rita had been impounded!
It turns out that there was far less, ahem, clarity regarding the ‘rita’s accommodations than we understood to be the case. In point of fact, some nice lady is quite sure that the slip in question belongs to her. The floating constables had spent some days trying to ascertain to whom the boat belonged, but were unable to track us down on account of the visible registration being long expired and in another’s name (the Sea Senorita is sub 17′ and, having no external propulsion, is exempt from registration requirements under NY boating regulations).
To further complicate matters, the kind maritime officer Pete told us that he was unable to release the boat without solid proof of ownership. Title was far out of hand and we were momentarily stymied. “Hmmmm, well, Pete, do you have a computer at the station we can use for a second?” we asked. He said sure and we were admitted to the inner sanctum of the SIPD whereby we pulled up this very blog and drew his attention to the initial Stable Report post on the ‘rita.
There was no doubting the authenticity, heck, Fayth was there and Graham was even wearing the same jaunty hat. Pete chuckled and said that, while unorthodox, it might just do. We printed out a copy of the entry, stapled it to the complaint report and, after some further paperwork, an explanation of our creed & general dedication to good times, the pivotal naval role the Sea Senorita plays in said, not to mention a topical overview of the Dukes of Flatbush campaign for world domination, Pete was convinced that she did indeed belong to us and should be returned forthrightly. Or maybe it was the “FREE THE ‘RITA” chants that seemed to spontaneously ring out across hill and dale.
Whatever the cause of our emancipation, it was with thudding hearts that we watched the Sea Senorita freed from her solemn purgatory. Pete was a hell of a guy and expertly towed us out of the Deep Impound Cove (ed: so deep) and into the harbor. He also lent us an anchor on account of his concern for our maritime safety. All in all, he helped us make the best of a shiza situation so we could salvage our day with the only tonic that mattered: the windy, curative balm of a delightful sail.
The saga continues. Ownership determination of the slip will likely involve some wrangling on the part of our dear friend. I’ll be appearing in early August to relay the tale and plead for the leniency and good humor of the court. And, for now, the ‘rita is once again trailer-bound.
But the important part is that we have the ‘rita back. Our naval stratagem is preserved, we’ll live to sail another day and the very presence of this blog made it all possible. Res Firma Nitescere Descit
The Dukes have an ever-growing arsenal of 2, 3 and 4 wheeled craft, not to mention the humble beginnings of a navy. Each of these are unique in their own right, having been built over the past 80 years:
1974 Moto Guzzi Eldorado Police
10 Jun
Posted by Birch as Misc, Sailing, Sports, Uncategorized
It is with great pleasure that we can announce the successful launch and maiden voyage of the Dukes of Flatbush’s first naval vessel. Astute students of history, the DOFB understands that no entity, whether man, club or nation, can be truly complete without demonstrating superior naval power.
A bit like the Russians at Stalingrad, our rival running club Los Compadres continues to best us at area races with an attrition strategy based on overwhelming numbers and superior infantry training. However, all indications are that they have no “Unified Forces Plan”, and have left their BBQ, Motorcycle and Naval flanks completely undefended.
The Dukes already own the Grill and Motorcycle theaters; we’re confident that the addition of a stout sailing vessel will be the linchpin in our summer campaign of good-times domination.
Consider this fair notice Compadres, your speedy ways on the asphalt are no match for our comprehensive forces. We will express our dominance and steal your good times in a classic pincer movement that would do Hannibal proud.
In other boating news - the Dukes of Flatbush are pleased to announce partnership with the Hüskooler School of Sailing and Maritime Refreshment Research. With a staff of gifted instructors, the Hüskooler School offers a new paradigm in multidisciplinary seafaring education. Full certification is the goal for all students and a rigorous, Shelter Island based, 8 week class schedule will commence in early July. Please contact your administrator or neighborhood Moose Lodge for more information.
Proper technique from a lead instructor
CIT training session
Anti-pirate-stratagem role play
23 May
Posted by Birch as BBQ, Baja 1000, Cars, Electronics, Food, Gadgets, Misc, Motorcycle, Music, NYC, Run, Sailing, Sports, Surfing, Training, Travel, Uncategorized
Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and, I guess, this is one of those times for our beloved admin, erstwhile coach, training partner extraordinaire and certified master of the grill Jeff. He’s packed up the shop, loaded what’s important and is redeploying to the left coast in search of fortune, adventure and cracked crab. As we all navigate the fog caused by last night’s sayonara wumpus, I’d just like to pause for the cause and give a hearty HUZZAH to our partner in crime.
Fare thee well sir. You’ll be sorely missed but we’ve every confidence you’ll quickly get to holdin’ it down out there and swelling the ranks of the Dukes West Coast Chapter. Write when you get work and we’ll come inspect your beachhead.
Vaya con dios y un gato en tu pantalones Amigo.
-mismanagement
This weekend saw the happy addition of another trusty steed to the Dukes stable. While floating in nature, this entry definitely satisfies all of the character requirements we’ve come to expect from the land-based fleet. Ladies & gents - I’m pleased to introduce the Sea Senor(ita).
The Sea Senor(ita) is a classic 17′ O’Day DaySailer. DaySailers are fantastic fun and this one should provide endless summer good-times plying the waters around Shelter Island. The craft was gifted to the these Dukes by a most-excellent family member who was tired of it gracing her lawn; a sort of God-Duke if you will.
She’s been sitting the better part of the last 10 years, so we have some work to do before launch. But working on a little sailboat in the sun is a damn fine way to pass the time. Plus this boat will be a floating classroom for a whole host of folks, little ones included, who are eagerly awaiting sailing lessons. With that to look forward to, we started out this past weekend with a solid first cleaning. I’m sure you’ll agree the results are impressive.
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The accumulated funk from years of sitting unprotected outside
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Dirty Deck; Liken Gone Wild.
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Much better - she’s actually kinda good lookin’ under all that grime!
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A much cleaner cockpit; neigh ready to bear Dukes upon the sea towards unknown adventures, spoil and plunder….
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There are some minor repairs still to be done, rigging to be replaced, and another round or two of cleaning, but what a keen reminder of the restorative powers of elbow grease. Will certainly update again as the Sea Senorita nears launch.
Stable report 1
Stable report 2
Stable report 3
Stable report 4
Stable report 5
Stable report 6
Stable report 7
Stable report 8
DOFB
