A couple DOFB riders were recently bullshittin’ about the new helmet sensor technology in the Joint Strike Fighter, advanced thermal imaging, potential application to night riding and the potentially deadly issue of cow-collision avoidance. Existing thermal sensor technology could be theoretically utilized while racing at night, but the rigors of desert MotoX riding would certainly render it useless immediately. So those of us riding the night shift will just have to mount those deer whistles and/or duck tape an air-horn to the bars and hope for the best.

The conversation did put me in mind of something funny from my childhood though. I remember a crotchety old Scout Master that I had cooking a small bear roast on the block of his 70’s F-150 while we were out competing in a winter derby of some sort. Yeah, yeah; I grew up in the hick-ish northlands where bear roasts, winter sled dog races and 70’s F-150s were pretty much the norm. But that’s not the point…what’s important to note here is that it is more than possible, if a little rural gangster, to cook a delicious meal on the top of your engine.

The Dukes are always as interested in unusual cooking techniques as we are in motorsports, beer etc. So, should we find ourselves unharmed, but deep in the desert with some ‘unexpected’ meat around, Mexican steaks can be cooked on a support truck’s engine block. Just sayin’.

In the interest of education, I provide the following guidelines:
* Prepare the food as if it were going into your oven
* Double-wrap securely in foil
* Identify your cooking surface. Usually the exhaust manifold is best, but warm up the engine, then shut it off and check for hot-spots.
* Make sure your food will fit snuggly in the cooking spot with the hood closed (test with a crumpled ball of foil approximately the same height.
* Cooking on the engine is essentially the same as braising and will take longer than a standard oven and shorter than a stockpot.
* Drive till it’s dine-time. Note: this is dependent on flat driving surface that will not upset the deliciousness secreted under your hood. Baja will require a stationary vehicle for cooking applications, lest we wind up with roast beast all over the engine block.

Sample barbecue approximate cooking times:

* Shrimp: 30-50 miles
* Trout or Salmon: 60-100 miles
* Chicken breasts: 60 miles at 65 mph
* Chicken wings: 140-200 miles
* Pork tenderloin: 250 miles
* Sliced, peeled potatoes: 55 miles

especially enterprising regular block cooker